This post is almost about nothing


I was drinkin so much damn coffee that my heart was beating to a rhythm. It was skipping beats, beating twice in row, stopping for a second then coming back again. I know what you’re thinking. Damn dude. That doesn’t sound good. Well, fear not people. Yesterday I drank one cup of ice coffee and vaped the fuck outa my juul while watching yet another rendition of Biggie and Tupac’s murder on that Unsolved docuseries on Netflix while mapping out marketing plans in the background and researching travel funnels I could put together with my VA and my heartbeat went back to normal.

I really don’t want to lose that morning ritual of hot coffee being brewed before I wake up–for what is life than a set of rituals that connect hours? Probably more than that, but whatever… so last night I set my coffee timer to go off at 7:45AM this morning, as per usual, but only poured in three cups of water; usually it’s six. I researched that it’s healthy to drink four cups of coffee per day, but it might start fuckin with you any more than that. I was drinking eight cups per day. Now I have one hot coffee to my left (filled with two cups of coffee) and I’ll drink it and that’ll be that.

Jeez this keyboard is driving me nuts. I got robbed in Santiago, Chile last year–some chick ran off with my Macbook–and so I bought a new one down there and the keyboard is in Spanish but I set it to English so all the fucking punctuation is in a different place than it says it is. Like the left parenthesis is actually an asterisk and the right parenthesis is really the left parenthesis. The question mark is a dash and the semicolon is an ñ and it’s all very confusing. To think I wrote a 100,000 word book on this thing…

Anyway, the other thing is I reached out to my first potential podcast guest, but I had to do it in Spanish because he’s from Argentina. Now that I’m thinking about it… that’d be a shitty interview if I had to do it in broken Spanish. Or it’d be hilarious. Maybe I shouldn’ta even written to him? Whatever… I invited him on because he has the Guinness World Record for Longest Motorcycle Journey and then realized I wrote “Claro que tienes…” rather than “Creo que tienes” which is a silly mistake because I meant to write: I’m pretty sure you have the Guinness World Record… but I wrote, Of course you have the Guinness World Record! That’s kinda funny now that I’m thinking about it. OF COURSE YOU HAVE THE RECORD! Lol. I don’t know if he’ll get back to me.

Anyway, I also reached out to the chick that has the Guinness World Record for Longest Journey by Motorcycle in a Single Country, which is different than the first record. One of them is longest journey in a single country and the other is longest journey in the world. Point is, nobody got back to me and now I’m in podcast paralysis.

What I’m tryin to say here is that I was meditating last night and couldn’t stop thinking that I should just go in my damn closet that I converted into a podcast studio and record an episode. Be a somebody. Do a something. Say some shit! The British guy in Headspace said something inspiring… To paraphrase, he said something like: you can’t change certain situations but you can change the experience of having that situation. So I went in there at midnight and riffed some shit about therapeutic road trips and I don’t know… It mighta gotten weird. But I did eleven minutes on audio and shot the recording on video with my iPhone then I felt better.

This post is boring, but the point of this blog is to write every morning without thinking too much and study what themes emerge after a year. It’s more of a self-experiment than it is for entertainment, but along the way this shit needs to be fun to read while you’re taking a shit or bored at work. Now let’s get to the moral of the story…

Most of my posts end with a moral. The moral of this story is: riff on the mic if you bought a thousand dollars worth of audio equipment and your guests haven’t written you back then blog about it in the morning with one cup of coffee–no more.

About the author


I'm a high school dropout who escaped reform school when I was sixteen and hitchhiked the country as a homeless teen till I finally made sense of the world. I now work as a travel writer, marketer, publicist, I published a book and broke the guinness world record for longest road trip. I've done some other crazy shit too. But I'm still alive and seven years sober. Enjoy my insanity...

Add comment

Drifter Chronicles Book Cayea
Want to Read Some Better Shit? Check This Out...

Recent Posts