I did it again. I paid another ten bux to take a damn personality test, but this time, I had my girlfriend help out… cause here’s the thing: I know how to game the system. So, now I can answer and skew the results in favor of the personality I wanna achieve.
I’ve become so obsessed with those damn things that I have literally taken six different brands of quiz about twenty times. I began to research why they asked each question, and then realized they were really only asking a few questions–not sure how many for Myers-Briggs, which I’ve been an INFP, ENFP, INTJ and ENTJ throughout the course of the last five years of my life… But in the Big 5 Personality Assessment, there’s only five questions that get re-asked a million times over. So, now I know if they’re asking me if I like to sit close to the back of the room, I know they’re asking me if I’m an introvert or extravert.
I know that if it asks me if I get “lost in music” it’s asking something about my intellect (I think). I know if it asks me something about compassion, it’s judging my agreeableness. I can game the system, but why would I want to do that? Is one personality better than another? I think I wanted a high score, and so I tried to get one… but what the fuck is a high personality score? I’m a goddam lunatic.
Finally, last night, I was like, “Yo, Daryl (girlfriend), help me answer these questions.”
And she was like okay.
So we went through the test and I got some hard feedback. Then my results came in: 3% polite. 7% compassionate. What? Okay, I suppose I can be a bit of a dick, but out of 100 people in a room, 93 of them are more compassionate than I am? And I’m less polite than nearly 100% of the room? Fuck… I better re-evaluate my life.
There was that one time I took it and I got a 0% in intellect. I was like fuck. I’m a moron. Then I got 0% in openness to experience. I was like huh? I travel all over the world and do weird shit my whole life… How could that possibly be true?
I came to two conclusions:
- I was living the wrong life.
- The test was wrong.
But the test was created by highly skilled clinicians–world famous, even. So, the chances that the test was totally off seems unlikely. Maybe a bit off, but not totally off. The only conclusion I could draw is that I was doing things that maybe went against the grain of my personality.
Goddammit. Now my head is all fucked up.
Gotta go rethink my life…